The bitch is back! Tuesday nights just got a little more interesting with the return of MTV’s The Hills and The City. Straightaway, I've got to be honest; The Hills is really mindless. But it’s so addicting! And it just got even better with the departure of original nice girl Lauren Conrad and the entrance of Laguna Beach biyotch, Kristin Cavallari!

The reel life on The Hills

Essentially, all the cast does in this “reality” show is party, shop, vacation in Cabo, and talk shit about each other when the other isn’t looking. Each episode is filled with hookups, breakups, chick fights, work firings, and tears. The drama never ends! And the funny thing is; nothing ever really happens! Well, until now.

In the season premiere, we got more action in the first three minutes than we’ve had in all four seasons of the show! No sooner than Kristin Cavallari waltzes into a birthday pool party to greet her new cast members, she’s in the face of three girls pointing her finger and screaming; “Oh you messed with the WRONG GIRL you stupid bleep!” HOLY CRAP! If her confrontational, take no prisoners personality isn’t juicy enough, she’s a total man-eater too! She’s gonna play that mind-game asswipe, Justin Bobby, so quick that he’ll be proposing to ex-girlfriend Audrina Patridge in no time!

Funny thing is; I couldn’t stand Kristin in the 2004-2005 MTV reality series, Laguna Beach. She was just a privileged California valley girl that didn’t seem to have a single redeeming quality about her! But now I’m thinking she’s one of those girls that you just love to hate!

The City’s fashion wenches

Directly following The Hills is the New York City spinoff, The City. The show chronicles good girl Whitney Port’s experiences trudging through the tough world of high fashion jobs and bitchy socialite coworkers. This show may initially draw you in if you’re interested in Whitney’s life as a fashion PR girl, but once again, the drama is what keeps you coming back for more! And it’s all about the confrontational backstabbing girls in this show too – they’re just more sophisticated than their L.A. counterparts!

Why not indulge?

An hour a week of these catty, beautifully edited shows set to the latest music is too delish to miss! Who wants to waste time sitting through two hours of yawners like the 90210 and Melrose Place remakes when you can watch the ridiculous, real-ish lives of these train wrecks duking it out in the hottest L.A. clubs like Les Duex and Skybar?

And the more mindless the show is, the smarter I come out feeling at the end of it. So really, it’s a self-esteem booster if you look at it that way. Hey look, when we talk about “guilty pleasures”, these shows define the phrase. Just watch.