Golden Globes red carpet fashion awards – Pop Culture Junkie style

Did you watch The Golden Globes tonight? I know, I know – awards shows are boring and pretentious. I mean, who wants to watch overpaid actors stand up there and give each other awards for being awesome? Usually it’s nauseating, but I actually think the Globes are tolerable, mainly because host Rickey Gervais is totes hilar and makes everyone uncomfortable with his jokes, and because the tone of the night is more “let your hair down” than stuffy like the Oscars. But as always, I usually watch these shows because I like to see the red carpet fashions. And although I wasn’t necessarily blown away by anyone, I def have some favorites. Below, I’ll be handing out awards for everything from Best Dressed to #whatthefuckwasshethinking. Let’s see if you agree…

Best Dressed of the Night Award: Eva Longoria. Ok, so Eva isn’t winning any avant garde points tonight, but she looked perfect in this fitted black mermaid dress that shows off the right amount of boobies and her petite little frame. I also like that this dress could easily be translated into real world wear. Eat your heart out Tony Parker!

Prettiest Princess Award: Lea Michelle. This silk taffeta dress was the perfect fit for Lea Michelle, and her messy up do with loose curls falling around her face just added that youthful flare that makes her look like a little princess. This pinky-peach color also proved to be the fave of the night amongst other red carpet ladies.

Best Dressed Date Award: Mark Walberg’s wife, Rhea Durham, looked gorge in this peach strapless chiffon dress that once again, gets points from me for being the easiest to transition to real-life wear. Loving her chandelier earrings and lose waves as well!

Best Looking Male If Only He Had Long *Sex Hair* Like Edward Cullen But He Doesn’t Award: Robert Pattinson. Robward gets points for being different and wearing a fitted navy suit which of course looks totes chic on him, but goddamn it, that hair. Is it seriously getting shorter? I can’t take it. We should hunt his hair stylist down and strip him of his scissors, but not before we give him a totally bad haircut. My husband even goes; “he looks awful.” Now, I wouldn’t go that far, but can you picture how panty-meltin’ he’d look with tousled sex hair like Edward’s? OMG! I miss that mop of hair so fucking much.

Cutest Use of a Bed Sheet Award: Natalie Portman. Now of course I’m paying extra attention these days to my fellow preggo stars, and so I couldn’t miss Ms. Portman’s preggo chic, or should I say preggo “sheet?” It looks like she just rolled out of a bed covered in pink satin sheets and just wrapped the sheet around herself to travel into the bathroom or something. C’mon, this gurl is small and adorbs, surely they could find her some better maternity red carpet wear! But whatever, she still looked cute, so she wins an award.

Dress I Seriously Want to Own and Wear Someday Award: Sarah Hyland from Modern Family. This dress is so pretty and dainty with its bow-like look at the bodice and the flowy chiffon skirt. I’d seriously like to wear this dress some day and have a flat enough stomach to pull it off! Let’s hope I can bounce back after the ‘lil baby here!

Sexiest Dress Although It’s Kind of Weird At The Same Time Award: Halle Berry. When Halle Berry walked out on stage I def swooned at her sexiness for uno momento. She has a rockin’ bod fo sho. I mean, when you think about it, the dress is a bit odd and impractical, but she totes pulled it off and made a gurl swoon for realz.

Devilishly Sexy Award: Sofia Vergara. Gurl – you on fiyah! OMG, Sofia has a to-die-for hour glass figure and her boobies mek me so envious. Can you believe that she has an 18-year old son? Because she does! Is it true the Colombian woman get way hotter as they get older? Maybe I’ll move to Colombia and gain citizenship so this can happen to me.

The WTF IS She Wearing Award: Jennifer Love Hewitt. Sorry Love, but your dress looks like it came straight from a David's Bridal catalogue. It’s not at all flattering! What is with that boob area? If she bends forward, is she giving a full-on peep show or what? If you saw her on the red carpet you’d also think her hair and fake tan only added to the atrociousness of this look.

Does She Even Own A Mirror Award: Julianne Moore. I cannot imagine the moment when Julianne Moore was handed this dress and she decided right then and there that this was the one. In fact, I’m convinced she didn’t even try it on and she totally skipped a mirror because she was just so excited to be nominated that she couldn’t “be bothered” with mere fashion choices. So instead, we all got to be bothered by her fashion choice! Ew, just ew.

Alright, that’s all folks. It’s been fun! So, did I miss the mark on any of my critiques above or do you totes agree with me? What was your fave look of the night?

Tags: Golden Globes Awards

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Comment by bulletsucker on January 17, 2011 at 1:21am: gurl, you hit the nail on the head with the best & worst dressed! longoria's dress was ahhhh-mazing! did you see the back? *swoon* i want it, with just a little less floor covering.

i srsly did not like berry's dress-- she's not young enough to pull it off, even if she does have a rockin' body. plus, it's not appropriate for this awards show. i expect her to be more glamorous than hip, like this.

as for moore's outfit, what are those shoes? and that sleeve? and that waist line? EWWWW. and speaking of ewwww, j-lo-hew needs to stop dressing in sheets, cuz she ain't whispering to any ghosts on the red carpet. if she were, they would be sayin', "honey, change, please, before you give us a bad name."

the most disappointing has to be portman, though, because i have never seen her dress in such an ugly outfit. this dress should be the hide in hideous-- i don't know if i hate the cut, the color, or the giant random red rose in the middle of the chest more.

other dresses i hated:
j-lo

leighton meester

helena bonham carter

michelle williams

what was it with the fashion faux-pas at this year's gg's?

Comment by SeekingBecca on January 17, 2011 at 1:59am: *tears streaking down cheeks* LMA OFF!!! I love the award titles- There F*cking Funny ass shit & so fitting!

I agree with everyones award.

Oh, and Rob...rob...rob..., PLEASE...please, gives us back our sex hair! What are we suppose to dream of tugging, pulling, scratching, with our significant other if there is nothing there to imagine. I've had difficulty remember late at night when i want to think of you. All I have are pictures...I guess that will have to do :(

Comment by Pat Humphries on January 17, 2011 at 9:40am: You did great! The sleeves, last night, were soooooo distracting! So many dresses with UGLY sleeves!!!

OK, I'll give you that Mark and Robert looked great, but b-o-r-i-n-g! Can't these men come up with something besides the same old tudedo for every damn awards show? Yawn!! Where the hell is Adam Lambert when you need him! :) The Grammy's can't come soon enough!

Comment by Colleen on January 17, 2011 at 10:38am: I hated JayLo - she looked like her wedding viel fell down. I did like Catherine Zeta Jones in the dark green. I agree that Eva Longoria was the most beautiful and understated. I did like Sandra Bullocks dress but not her bangs. How awful was Scarlett Johanssons bride of frankenstein hair???

Comment by Courtney on January 17, 2011 at 10:54am: Oh I know Pat, you mean like this? Where's Adam Lambert when you need him? And his style.

Comment by Debbie CDC a/k/a SeattleChik on January 17, 2011 at 8:28pm: Eva's dress was to die for and she looked beautiful. That Parker guy is an idiot. Natalie Portman wins best baby bump prize hands down. Angelina Jolie, elegant as always.

Rob was, what can I say, fuckhawt. That's it. No more words. In that navy blue made to order Gucci tux, *GAH* OMFG he's lucky I wasn't within 500 miles of LA last nite.

I'm fine with the hair, whatev. Yes I miss the longer sex hair, and hopefully we'll see that back in Cosmopolis but if he wants a fucking crew cut it's fine by me.

I know this is gonna get a rise out of @bulletsucker, but did the have those awards at 5:00 pm so the Biebs could get to bed on time? *running from bulletsucker* LMAO

Comment by Courtney on January 17, 2011 at 8:43pm: @Debbie -- I wouldn't worry about @bulletsucker seeing your comment. She's still curled up in a ball reeling over Justin cutting his BiebWeave. She misses the hair flip. God, she misses the flip like I miss Rob's sex hair. *curling into ball now*

Comment by Debbie CDC a/k/a SeattleChik on January 17, 2011 at 8:56pm: LOL, *hair junkies*

Comment by bulletsucker on January 17, 2011 at 9:25pm: gah, y'all know I totes wanted to bitch-slap some hair peeps sunday night. jb, idk what ur thinking, but yes u must consult w/ur jaguar prior to cutting the mane. I only like it when u yell "I whip my hair back & forth!"

as for rpattz, houston, I think we have lost transmission. he's trying to get away from hairward look so much that he's losing touch w/ the jaguar fan base. so sad, I weep.

Comment by Debbie CDC a/k/a SeattleChik on January 17, 2011 at 10:32pm: Well, since the whole premise of Cosmopolis is that he's going to get a haircut, I think he'll have to have some hair to cut, so we should (hopefully) see some sexhair (as well as some honest to God sex!) in that film. I still don't care if it's a buzz cut he decides to sport (I just don't think I could live with a mohawk). As long as there's enough to clench in my fist, I'm happy.

LOL, biebs and willow smith can whip their hair together ROFL.

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