Don’t be jealous: I’m hangin’ with True Blood hotties (Jason Stackhouse & the werewolf!!)

I know, I know – you wish you were me.

Don’t rub your eyes too hard and give yourself premature wrinkles or anything, you read the subject line correct – on Saturday, October 30^th, I have a hot date with “True Blood’s” Jason Stackhouse and that hotass werewolf with crayzy eight pack abs, Alcide! Well, to be accurate, Bulletsucker is the one that landed us this date. She’s got a stealth sniffer and all and found this most amazing opportunity to be united with our summah lovahs. She totes called me at work all breathy and was like: “GURL, WE HAVE TO MEET JASON STACKHOUSE AND THAT HOT WEREWOLF FROM TRUE BLOOD!”

My head snapped up from an Excel spreadsheet and I was all; “HUH – say whaaaaaaaaaaaat? What should I wear??”

Ok, so it’s not like we’re having a hot date two on two or anything. Well that’s an interesting thought…if this were the case, who would I choose? Mr. Stackhouse or Mr. whatshisfuck with the smexy to-die-for abs? Idk, I think I’d just take them both and Bulletsucker can have the waiter. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there, because we’re going to be in a room with thousands of bloodsuckers just trying to get a piece of Stackwolf. In case you haven’t figured out the timing, this is obvy a majah Halloween bash in San Francisco in which this delectable duo will be our gracious party hosts! Don’t think that Bulletsucker and I aren’t going to be elbowing every hoe bag in that place to get to our men. That’s right, we’re going all “Breaking Dawn’” Jacob on Renesme and imprintin’ on that shit – aint nuthin’ stoppin’ us!

But seriously, when we do get to stand face to face with ~~our lord~~ Stackwolf WTF are we going to do…or say? OHMYGODIFUCKINGLOVEYOU? Or, OHMYGODYOURSOFUCKINGHOTIWANNADOYOU? Something tells me that instead of being all cool sauntering over to Sookie’s TV brother and letting some sexy one liner roll off my tongue, I’m going to be staring at his shoes with a goofy grin giggling like the 13-year old gurl that I really am inside. I’ll probably say something totes retarded like, “Hi Jason”.

HELLOOOO! His name is Ryan Kwanten! And the abtastic werewolf – I barely know his character’s name on “True Blood” (I had to Google it for this blog post) – I’ll just be staring at his abs. Because them, I know well.

But for really, we def plan to get a pic making out with them, or at the very least, with our arms snaked around their waists all tuggy tuggy, getting as close as inhumanly possible. So that begs the question; what are we going to dress up as? We need a costume. And not just any costume – we need to look hot as balls. Bulletsucker suggested a “pop culture pussycat”. Seriously, it was a struggle just typing that costume idea into this blog without it being riddled with typos because my ass is leaning over the keyboard laughing with my eyes closed. Whatthefuck is a pop culture pussycat? I Googled it, thinking that perhaps it’s actually SOMETHING that I just don’t know about. And all I got was this weirdo bloggy lady that has a strange cat fetish. Note to Bulletsucker: I ‘aint dressin’ up as crazy cat lady while meeting my fantasy incarnate. Thx!

BUUUUUUT, since we’re all knee deep in Tattward FanFic right now, I suggested we go neked from the waist up and have “Pop Culture Junkie” fake tatted on our backs with a giant star that encompasses our entire backs!! If only Stackwolf could appreciate the significance of that costume, other than bare boobies in their faces. So anyway, we’re still in need of costume ideas. If you have ideas, do share! And remember, we don’t want to look cute, funny, scary, or weird. We want to look HOT! So recommend accordingly.

And help us out, what should we say when we meet Stackwolf? Grope or no groping? Lick face or no licking face? Because when it comes to these two; appropriate behavior etiquette just flies right outa my head.

Tags: Jason Stackhouse, Joe Manganiello, Ryan Kwanten, True Blood

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Comment by bulletsucker on October 13, 2010 at 11:44pm: *lickey face, lickey abs, lickey...* oh, heeeeey, @court. just wanted to let you know that the waiter sez hi. yeah, i know he looks EXACTLY like tattward-- weird! yup, thought you were hangin' out with stackwolf, so i decided to help waiterward figure out what mekin bekin in a kitty costume looked like on the hotel kitchen counter. stainless steel never looked so good ;p

Comment by Courtney on October 13, 2010 at 11:51pm: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? You can hev Stackwolf. Waiterward, I have a complaint over how my bekin was cooked. Instead of bringing the manager into this, let's just take it outside. Preferrably somewhere that has soft pillows so my back tatt doesn't rub weird as you're grinding your hips......uh....................nevermind.

Comment by bulletsucker on October 13, 2010 at 11:55pm: ps, we need to look about 50x hotter than these hoes:
http://www.thrillersf.com/pictures.html

Comment by Wella Mayor on October 13, 2010 at 11:56pm: YOU ARE SO FUNNY COURTNEY!!! NEARLY FELL FROM MY OFFICE CHAIR WHILE READING THIS. I like the werewolf better than Jason though. Jason is too hot for his effing good. Oh well, I am team Taylor after all so I suppose I am just being consistent. LOL. Whatevs. At the end of the day, my heart belongs to the hottest gay guy who ever existed. Ya know who he is.... and I saw him last 101010, and he was all I that I expected and more. The Glamberts are Still in the Aftermath of Adamgasm here in Manila. It'd be a long time before we recover. HAHAHA

Comment by Courtney on October 14, 2010 at 12:03am: HAHA, thanks Wella! I know, as I was Googling images of the abtastic werewolf I was like, oh shit, I think I like him more than Jason Stackhouse now! He's sooooo hoooooooooot.

So glad you finally gotsta see Adam in Manila! Isn't he amazing? Bulletsucker and I are planning to see him in LA at the last stop in his tour! Can't wait to see his pretty face again!!

Comment by Courtney on October 14, 2010 at 12:05am: @Bulletsucker - Those hoes just look like skanks to be skanks. I want to look like a skank with a purpose!!

Comment by bulletsucker on October 14, 2010 at 12:32am: #skankswithpurpose. got it. i'll be completely off-track until we figure out our costumes for #stackwolf.

Comment by Wella Mayor on October 14, 2010 at 1:28am: "Skank with a purpose". LOL. I like that!!!!! A++++++

Comment by DoriHB on October 14, 2010 at 8:46am: Here ya go! some ideas for dress up!

http://explorerphoto.com/p334126905/h1d43fb2a#h1d43fb2a

(I subscribe to the Burning Man newsletter cuz I'm going to go next year - who's with me?)

Comment by Mrs.Robinsome on October 14, 2010 at 7:23pm: I just fall more in love w/ u gals every time you talk! Thanks for makin me laugh,smile, choke!