‘Breaking Dawn’ Review: Why am I STILL loving Jacob in this Edward & Bella fairytale?

Alrighty peeps, I may be a new mama of a baby human these days, but I still found me some time to hit the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn last night and get my swoon on. I’m just like everyone else – I’ve been waiting a year and a half since Eclipse to see some Edward and Bella sex and also to analyze Edward’s baby mekin’ skillz. So hey, baby or no baby for me, I’m not waiting a minute longer than I have to! And dear friends; Breaking Dawn is totes amaze, obvy. How could it not be? Edward and Bella finally marry. They have S-E-X and more S-E-X – >Edward breaks a headboard, COME ON. And lastly, Bells is preggo. What’s not to love?

Well, besides Edward’s hair. [Read: "Why is Edward's hair ALL WRONG in Breaking Dawn?]

Can we just harp on this subject a little more and further beat an already dead horse? WHO THE F*CK RUNS THE HAIR AND MAKEUP DEPARTMENT FOR THE TWILIGHT FILMS? They should be fired, never to work in Hollywood again. The saga’s slogan should be: “Twilight, making good looking people ugly since 2008.” It’s one thing to put Carlisle in a progressively uglier wig in each film, or put a skull cap made of hair on Alice’s head and pretend she’s still cute as a button – but you cannot, I repeat – YOU CANNOT MESS WITH EDWARD’S HAIR. Ever. But they did. His hair is short, flat, and dark. WTF WTF WTF! It’s supposed to be a chaotic mess of copper colored hair. It just wasn’t sexy, people. In fact, it almost killed my Team Edward status. His hair is that important to me.

But you know who looked hot as hell? Jacob. Somehow, with Edward’s flat hair, waaaaay too pale skin, and lack of a muscular body, Jacob looked dark, manly, and all growns up. I found myself swooning all over Jacob and his new chin pubes. It actually pissed me off. In a movie all about Edward and Bella FINALLY coming together – I’m freaking dying over Jacob? WHAT!

On to the actual movie…

Breaking Dawn is actually funny – and on purpose! In fact, it was full of laughs throughout the wedding and honeymoon. It all just seemed so much more grown up this time around. No more high school angst and brooding virginity. Kristin Stewart FINALLY comes into her own as Bella, and it’s the best she’s ever been playing this character. Edward smiles more, *fans self*, and comes across more confident and like a real husband. *swoon* I loved when he started seeing the baby in Bella’s tum tum as their baby versus something killing her that he wanted to get rid of. And it totes melted my heart when he held and kissed Bella’s pregnant belly in a sweet little moment towards the end of the film. Jacob, as I mentioned, just seemed so much manlier then he ever has and I loved when he stood his ground to werewolf Sam and takes back his stance as the wolf pack’s alpha. Go Jacob! I know in the book that after the honeymoon the perspective switches to Jacob’s for like 150 pages, and the movie is no different. I felt like the movie had Jacob just as much as E&B. Some people might be like; “Jeez Jacob, get over Bella already!” But I didn’t see his constant presence as him pining away for his lost love; I saw it as him protecting his best friend who he loves.

The birth scene was intense, with Edward having to bite open Bella’s belly to pull the little vamp/human hybrid out. For a moment, I was all “awwwww” when Edward was holding the baby – and I wanted to tackle Rosalie when she offered to take the baby. I’m all; Edward, look out! BABY SNATCHER! BABY SNATCHER!! But it really got me when Belly died on the table, all gaunt thanks to the amazing ability of CGI editing. For those that haven’t seen the movie, I don’t want to give away all the cool things they did to make this scene even more emotional, but it’s definitely a powerful transformation into a vampire that Bella has. And that final scene was the coolest E-V-E-R and how I always imagined it from reading the book. Needles to say I cannot wait for Breaking Dawn part 2. Too bad we have ANOTHER FREAKING YEAR! Ahhh!!

I feel like the movie went by so fast, like no more than 30 minutes. So obvy I have to see it again to catch anything I missed. It was like when I was reading the book; I was so excited that I read the book too fast just to see what happens, so I didn’t really let some things sink in. I gotta go back and really enjoy that honeymoon again. I don’t know if I fully got to appreciate Edward breaking that headboard. Plus, I saw the movie with Bulletsucker and we were so busy adding our own hilarious side commentary throughout the movie that we probably missed a lot of dialogue due to our laughter drowning out the sound! I had all these other things I wanted to write about, like how our theater was full of old lesbians and no one was OOOHING and AAHHHING over Edward or Jacob like they were supposed to be, but this blog post is getting too long to get into all that. Let’s just say that next time Bulletsucker and I decided we aren’t going to a midnight showing unless it’s full of screaming teenagers. They take the crazy to a whole other level and that’s really the only way to see a Twilight movie.

All in all, Breaking Dawn gets two thumbs up from me, but could I ever not love one of these films? ‘Course not.

Have you seen Breaking Dawn? If so, tell me what you thought in the comments section!

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For fun, check out my New Moon and Eclipse movie reviews:

New Moon = AH-MA-ZING

"Eclipse" review: Loving Edward. Lusting for Jacob.

Tags: Bella, Eclipse, Edward, Jacob, New Moon, breaking dawn

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Comment by Colleen on November 18, 2011 at 7:20pm: Loved Emmit in this and I think Esme had more lines in BD than the other 3 combined. It felt happy and light - so much angst was gone. Talk about "dying to have a fetus/baby" - Bella got worse and worse lookin as the spawn grew. I really thought they did a good job on the delivery/slaughter scene - that spawn had a big head - good thing she had a c-section. The wedding dress was worth the wait and the "alice" lingerie was perfect. I give it 100 stars.

Comment by libbybelle523 on November 19, 2011 at 1:13am: i loved this movie, there was only one moment when the wolves were talking to each other that i wished i wasn't there. it was like a horrible disney movie gone wrong. it was so fucking bad. i laughed. so i'm getting the bad out of the way and lets say how great it was! i loved it i was shocked at how it was both a romance and drama. i laughed through the wedding which was nice. i thought the honeymoon night was done perfectly. so sweet! don't we all wish your cherry poppers could've been edwards? i just loved it. i thought it was perfect. and then to the bella preggo scenes. that was hard to see. she looked sicker than i imagined in the books. when she was getting into the bath and took off her robe a bit and looked into the mirror...well that moment may have made me cry a bit. she looked so broken but i get it. i understand, bella really gave all of herself into this movie to have a family. i loved it!

Comment by I Guadalupe on November 19, 2011 at 8:13pm: I agree with everything you've said Courtney. I loved BDawn...Kristin was great, the dress, wedding and honeymoon priceless...but it could have been better, maybe longer...some of the characters could have been developed more...the relationship between Rosalie and Jacob could have had more sparks flying...cgi was lacking...Summit spent loads of money on this movie...don't understand the spooky wigs, makeup and Rob's hair...editing seemed choppey...certain folks aren't going to be seeing any nominations...

Comment by Colleen on November 20, 2011 at 1:11pm: I'm so used to the "worst wigs in Hollywood", I don't even let that get to me anymore. I could watch these movies for hours - but every movie critic says "it is too long". I did miss some bits: Blonde jokes, dog bowl, eggs, more stink/stench talk, the hatred Jacob has for Edward, etc. But, they did put in allot and for that I am thankful. I actually like the wolves in this film - .

Comment by Courtney on November 21, 2011 at 12:18am: Saw BD for the second time tonight and it was even better the second time around! I had a 5 hour energy drink and wine at the midnight showing and I think it gave me a serious case of A-D-D and I had to see the movie again to fully appreciate it! It was so much more emotional for me this time -- loved it.

Comment by I Guadalupe on November 21, 2011 at 4:10pm: I agree Roxy...it's all about the HAIR!

Comment by DoriHB on December 3, 2011 at 1:32pm: aghh - can't believe it's been two weeks since this arrived in my inbox, and I'm just getting around to reading it! Yes, I've been MIA - an actual job in real life with a crazy deadline is the culprit (but I am enjoying an income now!) Haven't seen the movie, but loved your review - you make me laugh - I been missing these reads, esp. with all the negativity in my other fandom-world, which shall go un-named.

I agree, hair is oh-so-very important and your raves about the honeymoon really make me want to investigate this further, hmmmm. I think I was always a little more team Jacob, than Edward, as I've mentioned before, dark swarthy types more for me than the blondish. OK - on to the next blog, catching up.

Comment by Courtney on December 3, 2011 at 3:39pm: @Dori, congrats on the new job! Money rocks!

I know, I miss blogging on PCJ like I used to. :( Life just got a lot busier for me in recent months! So fill me in; what kinda negativity is going on in the Adam fandom? I'm clueless!

Comment by DoriHB on December 3, 2011 at 4:18pm: actually new job is my old job (they asked me back to work on a project that I was on 3 yrs ago, for the final home stretch) and temporary - but good for now.

You're lucky you've not been paying attention to the Adam stuff - but since you asked: pre-idol music Adam did with Monte, The Citizen Vein stuff (album called Beg for Mercy) was released without Adam's blessing; Monte is OK with it, which is the major source of hate, (they both have writing credits so will see royalties, I'm sure Monte could use the money & Adam doesn't); Adam is being sued by the company b/c he (via RCA's big guns) is trying to block it. Plus Monte's pulled a few blunders in an effort to correct things or just in reaction to nasty fans; Adam fans have completely demonized him, even as they fill in the gaps of what is known to suit their storyline. You don't really want to know. Very high school - no, more like grade school - nasty name-calling, nasty youtubes made, charges of not being a loyal Adam fan! if you don't agree with them, or if you dare to buy the cd! Seriously. Almost makes me want to check out altogether, but I refuse to let the bullies have the upper hand. Actually it would be kind of funny - watching these people become absolutely apoplectic over it - if it weren't so sad - these people really need to get other hobbies. In the long run, this cd release will be an insignificant blip in Adam's career, but they're acting like it's the end if the world. So, that's it in a nutshell. Nutty! As is usual with Adam, it's a soap opera! drama!

So much for NOH8.

Comment by Courtney on December 4, 2011 at 12:20am: Ay yi yi, Dori! Adam fans -- the super crazy "need another hobby ones" are over the top and get waaaaay too territorial and mama bearish about all things Adam. Even at the heigth of my Adam obsession, I was never unreasonable or acted with blinders on. If he did something I didn't love -- like kiss a dude at AMAs -- I said so. It didn't make me popular with the die hards, but I didn' care. I was accused of not being a real fan too, and here I wrote half my blog topics about the man! I think it's really lame to be a bully about something as superficial and unimportant as pop culture and entertainers. At the end of the day, who cares? I mean, it's fun to love the music and movies or whatevs, but if you get to the point where you're all hopped up about it, it's time to re-evaluate stuff!! Perhaps having a bambino has given me a new perspective, but I just can't take the uber love seriously anymore! The other night on Twitter I was just posting random comments about the AMAs, and I made a comment about not loving Adam's outfit. No big deal...but this women just started chewing me out via her tweets and accusing me of not being a real fan and keep my negativity to myself, etc, etc! I was like, DUDE, IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS!! She was SOOO upset with me. Dork. Anyway, I expect that kinda stuff out of some Twilight fans, and the ones that do get that way if you say you dont' like Edward's hair or something, are 13 year olds! They can't control their emotions quite yet, so I find it funny. But Adam's fans are primarily middle aged women, so for them to act that ridiculous over stuff is really silly and embarrassing. Just my opinion. I know I used to get all into it myself, but I never acted so sorely with people who didn't love him like I did. Everyone has their own opinion. Whatevs. But you're right, that kind of negative fandom is a turnoff and can make you wanna check out and find something a little less dramatic!

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